Alone Again
by Ms. Kinnikufan
Summary: A rewrite with more bite.Gazerbeam drinks, and reflects on his inability to stay on a team.


Alone Again

by Ms. Kinnikufan

Disclaimer:Pixar owns him.

3:22 am, Tuesday:

I'm on my third cigarette and my fourth shot of whiskey. It's officially been 26 hours since The Thrilling Three became no more.

It wasn't a angry breakup, like the type that shown in movies and sap operas.

Instead it went something like this:

Phylange went: "Gazerbeam, I have done a lot of soul searching and realized I cannot work with you anymore. I feel that you don't treat me or Apogee with the proper respect we deserve."

I replied: "Phylange, I feel that there is a lot of miscommunication between us."

Phylange finished: "I am leaving because I am sick of the arguments we have. I am tired of there being being any real change. I am tired of not being treated like I am a thinking being. Good-bye."

And then he left.

So The Thrilling Three ended not with a bang, but a whimper.

3:30 am, Tuesday:

I'm looking at the case files for Robert Jones, a kid who allegedly burgled a house and shot the family dog. The kid doesn't like me (he's done nothing but cuss at me and give me the finger) and I don't like him much either.

I wouldn't want to do his case even if The Thrilling Three hadn't just broken up. But when I passed the bar, I vowed to help anyone who needed it.

It was pretty much the same vow I took when I graduated from the N.S.A.

That's what supers are suppose to do, help those who need it. Ideally, that be what lawyers are suppose to do, but we know how that works out.

3:45 am Tuesday

I'm just taking the whiskey straight from the bottle I'm lonely. I'm always been alone.

I''ve never been good at making friends. My family was a military family and we moved around a lot. My father was so disappointed that I didn't take on a military career like him.

Well anyway, every time we move around I would end up into a new, strange and sort of scary classroom. All the kids has already formed friendships with each other. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get these new kids to be friends with me.

Some would string me along, convincing me that they would be my friend if I just gave them that, or if I would just do this for them or if I just change a certain thing about myself.

In the end, they never became my friend and always mockingly laughed at me for thinking I could do so.

In fact, because I was the new kid I would often get practical jokes played on me. In fact, some of them were less like jokes and more like cruel tricks. I do not believe that I deserved to have the dead class hamster in thrown in my desk simply because I was the new kid.

I think when it comes to friendship, it all a matter of communication. I can't communicate well in daily social interaction. All my jokes do down flat, especially that one about the Aristocrats. Everseer risked germ exposure to slap me for that one.

I can rehearse for court. You need to to rehearse arguments and statements if you want to be a good lawyer. You can't rehearse for daily social interaction.

Well you could, but it would be stupid.

If there is one thing I'm really good at, it's arguing.

I always got into plenty of arguments with Everseer when I was a member of The Phantasmics. Phylange too. They weren't even arguments I meant to get into or wanted to get into. It was just the lawyer part of me getting into.

In The Phantasmics, I was once again a newcomer of people who already knew each other and were friends or at the very least, allies.

Everseer and I didn't get along right from the start.

For one thing, my membership in The Phantasmic was sort of forced on Everseer by the N.S.A. You can guess that didn't make Everseer very happy with my presence.

I was also far less in control of my laser vision back then and I kept accidentally setting things on fire (I'm guessing this was one of the reasons Everseer was reluctant to have me on the team) like important paperwork, the meeting table and Macroburst.

I was always felt like an outsider in The Phantasmics. Everyone made a point of sitting far way from me. Granted, it may have been because of my aforementioned lack of control over my laser vision, but I still felt isolated. No one invited to social function outside of super business, nor did they accept any of my invitations.

I left the team before tension between me and Everseer escalated and tore the team apart.

No real good-byes or good lucks or exchanged.

I spent some time as a solo super, then I was asked to lead The Phantasmics:

"Why have I been called for a one on one meeting Agent Ryans? Have I done something incorrectly?"

"No, no, nothing of that nature. As you have heard, Dynaguy died a 2 weeks ago because of a costume malfunction. May he rest in peace and God bless his soul."

"Of course."

"And of course you know we need a a replacement leader for The Thrilling Three."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Guess what, you're our top consideration!"

"What? Why Agent Ryans?"

"Well, you have great solo experience, and we found heroes that previously operated as solo super often make great leaders! Plus your files say you're a very good strategist, and always keep your cool in the heat of a fight. Those things are needed in a good leader."

"But I left The Phantasmic because of tensions between me and Everseer."

"Between you and me buddy, Everseer is kind of a fuddy-duddy, I can see why you wouldn't get along with him. The guy is afraid of human touch for God's sake! What the hell is up with that? We at the NSA are surprised that they have lasted this long. So will you take the position?"

At the moment, I was very happy that the N.S.A. didn't think I was a total misanthrope, so I took the position.

Like with The Phantasmics, it was elementary to high school all over again: Phylange and Apogee were already good friends and I couldn't get in on that friendship.

Plus it didn't help that Dynaguy's death was still very fresh in their hearts and their mourning had yet to be finished.

Phylange especially seemed to miss him. This is just my pure, semi-drunken speculation, but I think he had an unrequited crush on Dynaguy.

Our first meeting then not go well:

"Hello, I'm Gazerbeam. The N.S.A. asked me to lead The Thrilling Three after Dynaguy's unfortunate death (may he rest in peace). I know you people are probably still very hurt from his death-"

"Don't pretend you could possibly comprehend the hurt in my heart!" Phylange melodramatically exclaimed.

"Didn't you get kicked off The Phantasmics?" Apogee commented very snarkily.

"I left. Anyway, I'm sure we cal learn to work together and all become great friends." I finished. Apogee's reminding of my time with The Phantasmics had thrown me off track.

Phylange stared at me with great anger and Apogee stared at me like I was stupid.

"Are we a super team or are we in kindergarten?" she asked with great sarcasm.

This conversation foreshadowed of how things would slowly go downhill.

4:15 am, Tuesday

I'm on my seventh cigarette and nearly finished the second battle of whiskey.

I don't want to be alone. Despite what people think, I like people. I like talking to people. I feel sad when people reject me. I want people to like me. I just don't know how.

I feel like I'll never learn how.

God, I'm lonely.

4:27 am, Tuesday:

I have now started on the Vodka. God, please just let me pass out soon.

Author's notes: This is version 2.0 of Alone Again.

I initially didn't plan to revised it, even after a reviewer commented that it would be better with a more consistent tone.

Then the line "I'm on my third cigarette and fourth shot of whiskey just came into my mind" and I used it to rewrite this fic.

Also this very loosely connect with "Off The Record" a fic which tells Phylange's P.O.V.


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